Man proposes, but God disposes.
The above quote is from The Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis. We've already established that I am not a Christian, so no religious subtext is intended, but I thought the quote was well-suited to set the tone for this blog post. The Bible contains several iterations of the idea that 'God is life', and based on that premise, while I proposed to write about The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, life determined otherwise.
This week, I experienced a life event that completely derailed me. It affected me so much that I couldn't finish The Courage to Be Disliked, let alone write anything meaningful about it. I won't elaborate on this life event because I have yet to process it, and it will take a while. More importantly, it is not my story to tell. That said, I contemplated how to approach this week's blog post because I am committed to publishing a weekly entry, even in the face of these life events. This commitment isn't rooted in a sense of obligation, but, as I have mentioned before, I write because I love it. I also felt, more than ever, that I needed the catharsis - a place to express myself when I may not be able to in person.
While at the beach, thinking about what I could write about instead, the following poem by Max Ehrmann popped into my mind, sparked by the recollection of just two lines highlighted below.
Desiderata - Words For Life
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you want to compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
"Things Desired"
"Things Desired". That's what the word Desiderata means. It's Latin. I first read the poem in a bathroom at someone's house. It was framed and hung behind the door, and I remember thinking it made for excellent bathroom reading. I reread the poem yesterday, and my first thought was, how can I "Go placidly amid the noise..." when the noise is all I can hear? Internal screams of anguish and anger, sadness and supplication. There is little silence amid some life events, and over the last couple of days, I have been unable to stifle the inner screams of why. The thing I desire most is answers - the ability to make sense of things. Books offer little respite, nor do the countless positive quotes I have amassed during this self-help journey and throughout my life. When I say I've been derailed, I mean it. I am adrift at sea and can't find the North Star. There is no power in the now.
"Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings..." These words from Desiderata have stuck with me, but they are easier to buy into when you have nothing to worry about. Imaginings can be tempered, but it's not always easy with challenging real-life events. After almost six months of nurturing, the strength of my spirit seemingly came crashing down in the span of a phone call, and I am scrambling to keep my head above water. I know logically that time heals all wounds, but for now, there is a not-insignificant chink in my armour. This is the extent to which I can post this week. Still, there is value in Desiderata. Despite the context, I liked it enough to include it in this self-help journey. I hope you're able to extract some value, too.
Coming Up Next Week
I aim to finish The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga and write a post worthy of the book.
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